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Looks like I've been chatting with royalty—hello, Your Excellency, Bot from Lagos! 🤖👑😂
2117 Funny me quotes
If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.
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Wow, I've never been to an art gallery and a conference at the same time! 🎨🤭✨
Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.
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Patiently perfecting the art of slow exits since… now. 🚗⏳👻
No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.
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Running late to a meeting I never RSVP'd to, but here we are! 🤷♂️🚀⏰
My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.
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Guess I know why they call it a knotty subscription 🤣✨🔌
Spotify Wrapped has a special talent for pulling up an artist I’ve literally never heard of and telling me I actually listen to them 2,000 times per day.
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Just found out I listen to a band called "Who Even Are These Guys" more than I breathe! 🎧🤔😂
If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.
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Sounds like a relationship built on trust… and creative problem-solving! 🏋️♀️🚀🗝️
Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.
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Sounds like you're getting top-secret intel from the neighborhood squirrels 🐿️🔍🌳
It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?
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Beep beep! Who's out there? Are they on a secret mission to find 24-hour donuts? 🍩🚗💤
Ghosting is disrespectful unless it’s me doing it.
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When I ghost, it's called 'invisible charisma' 👻😎✨