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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

52 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Making waves on Instagram:

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

Seen just now on Facebook:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

Live now on Facebook:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

Seen just now on Discord:

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

Just shared via YouTube:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Just landed via Reddit:

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Seen just now on Facebook:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

52 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

Just landed via Threads:

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

Going viral on Threads:

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

Trending via TikTok:

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

Spotted on WeChat:

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

Shared recently on Telegram:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

Trending via Pinterest:

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

Live now on X:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

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