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15,825 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: May 31, 2026

 

 

 

 

87 Funny message quotes

Funny message quotes are the perfect way to sprinkle a dash of humor into your day šŸ˜‚ Whether you’re crafting a clever text, writing a witty card, or just need a giggle, these gems are sure to deliver a chuckle or two šŸ˜„ From puns to punchlines, let these snippets tickle your funny bone and brighten up your conversations with a playful twist! šŸ˜‰āœØ

I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

A man messaged me on Insta and said, “You are not looking bad.” This might be the one, y’all.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

You know IT have given up when the error message reads, ā€˜Something went wrong’.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say ā€œthanks for comingā€ and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask ā€œWhat are you doing?ā€

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Posted onMay 24, 2026

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Please respond to the messages I almost sent you.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Posted onMay 23, 2026May 23, 2026

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they ā€œcan’t make it to the phone right now.ā€ You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Please respond to my telepathic messages.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

My favorite kind of gender reveal is the one where the parents find out, and they just tell everyone through text instead of making me go to a party.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

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