Commentary:
Finally, a workout plan for my brain 😂🤷♂️ #UnderthinkerInTraining
112 Funny once quotes
What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.
Commentary:
POMO: Pleasure Of Missing Out and seeing those crazy updates while you're chillin'. 😎🍿
I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.
Commentary:
"I tried yoga once and nearly mastered the art of turning myself into a pretzel… except I forgot the 'calm and composed' part. 🥨😆 #YogaFails"
I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.
Commentary:
No commercials needed; the fortune cookies spread the word! 🍜🥠🤣
You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.
Commentary:
Living the spin cycle life—perpetually sorting colors from whites like a never-ending quest! 🧺😅🌀
I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.
Commentary:
That's one way to break up with someone even before your first coffee date! ☕🔮😂
Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?
Commentary:
Twice the fun, double the confusion! 🤔😂❤️
Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.
Commentary:
Guess I'll just start responding with "Still alive!" and leave it at that 😂👍
That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.
Commentary:
The only superpower I have is the ability to time travel from Friday straight to Monday. 🦸♂️😅🌪️
It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.
Commentary:
Stepped outside, instantly missed my couch! 😂🏡 #HomeSweetHome