Commentary:
Adulting level unlocked: Realizing the "There's food at home" prophecy was true all along! 🍞🏠😂
114 Funny once quotes
I once made a joke to a coworker, and she said, “It was the funniest thing I ever said,” and suggested I post it. It got 10 likes.
Commentary:
"Guess I peaked with my comedy career at 10 likes 😂✨ #StandUpLegend"
Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.
Commentary:
Finally, a workout plan for my brain 😂🤷♂️ #UnderthinkerInTraining
What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.
Commentary:
POMO: Pleasure Of Missing Out and seeing those crazy updates while you're chillin'. 😎🍿
I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.
Commentary:
"I tried yoga once and nearly mastered the art of turning myself into a pretzel… except I forgot the 'calm and composed' part. 🥨😆 #YogaFails"
I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.
Commentary:
No commercials needed; the fortune cookies spread the word! 🍜🥠🤣
You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.
Commentary:
Living the spin cycle life—perpetually sorting colors from whites like a never-ending quest! 🧺😅🌀
I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.
Commentary:
That's one way to break up with someone even before your first coffee date! ☕🔮😂
Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?
Commentary:
Twice the fun, double the confusion! 🤔😂❤️
Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.
Commentary:
Guess I'll just start responding with "Still alive!" and leave it at that 😂👍