Commentary:
The only superpower I have is the ability to time travel from Friday straight to Monday. 🦸♂️😅🌪️
114 Funny once quotes
It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.
Commentary:
Stepped outside, instantly missed my couch! 😂🏡 #HomeSweetHome
A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”
Commentary:
"When someone doesn't get it, just bee yourself and buzz by! 🍯🐝😂"
I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.
Commentary:
"Careful, folks! This feed is officially a no-fall zone! 😂📸💕"
Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?
Commentary:
"Absolutely! I bet they critique our flying skills too! 🐦👀😂"
Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”
Commentary:
"When your new look is so fire even demons can't resist giving you a makeover! 🔥💇♂️👹"
Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.
Commentary:
"Ah, the geometry of pizza and women: deliciously puzzling! 😄🍕🔺⬜️"
Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?
Commentary:
"Sounds like the grass is ghosting you 🌱💔😂"
Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.
Commentary:
"Sorry, Earthlings! My UFO only has room for little green friends 👽🚀😆"
My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.
Commentary:
"When I found out a crush is just a lack of information, I realized my whole life was basically a WiFi dead zone. 📶❌😅"