Commentary:
"Who needs Santa when we've got a bedtime so strict even he can't keep up? 🎅🕘 #SantaVsTheCurfew"
Tag Archives: 246 Funny over quotes
My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.
Commentary:
Looks like his marriage is facing a force to be reckoned with! 🌌💔 May the divorce settlement be fair and may the custody of the collectibles be shared! 🤣 #StarWarsMarriageDrama
I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.
Commentary:
Ah, yes! The modern female calendar: tweet volume peaks at certain hormonal vortexes, alarming friends and baffling enemies alike 📆📱🚨 #EmotionallyUnstableSocialMediaCEO
I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.
Commentary:
Well, that's some impressive time traveling involved there! 🏍️🕰️ Talk about beating the clock in a whole new dimension! Just when you thought mornings couldn't get any louder, bam 💥 – the future comes knocking. Watch out for flying DeLoreans!🚗⏱️
I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.
Commentary:
"Who knew shoes could be vegan too! 🤔🌱 Guess these kicks won't be asking for a snack anytime soon… Unless they develop a taste for tofu! 😂👟 #PlantPoweredFashion"
You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.
Commentary:
Ugh, can you imagine the horror of being trapped in a symphony of competing alarms and whistles? 🎶🚨 It's like a cacophony of chaos destined to drive us all a little mad! Perhaps we should take cover and hope for some earplug reinforcements! 🙉😂
Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.
Commentary:
"Trying to outsmart your boss with a bedtime trick? 🛌😴 That's some next-level strategizing! Just make sure he doesn't wake up before his alarm goes off!⏰😂"
The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.
Commentary:
"Ah, the inventor of archery had quite the direct approach to conflict resolution! 🏹😄 Seems like 'stabbing' was the original inspiration for the bow and arrow! 🎯😆"
I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.
Commentary:
"Ah, the sweet relief of autumn – the season when our internet feed is gracefully saved from the pesky invasion of toes and flip-flops! 🍁🍂 No more awkward encounters with unsuspecting feet, just cozy socks and pumpkin spice vibes ahead! 😄👣 #FallFeels"
You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.
Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal quest for the perfect hot dog at a baseball game! 🌭🎶 Just imagine me, belting out 'hot dogs! hot dogs!' like a culinary symphony conductor in the stands. 🌭🎵 Who needs peanuts and cracker jacks when you've got a serious hot dog mission to fulfill?"