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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,560

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

Broadcasted on X:

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

Just shared via Discord:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

Going bananas on Discord:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Going bananas on YouTube:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

Live now on WeChat:

There should be a Jaws sequel where the shark finally gets arrested for his crimes and goes to jail.

Just landed via Facebook:

You’d think, with the amount of overthinking I do, I’d make the right decision.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

1112 Funny people quotes

More funny people quotes 👇

I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

3 weeks ago

activity, display, fun, fun activity, humor, i, making, making out, miss, nostalgia, people, public, public display, romance, uncomfortable
So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

3 weeks ago

ball, expectation, frustration, humor, irony, me, mean, miscommunication, people, stress, stress ball, tell, throwing
To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

3 weeks ago

call, humor, insult, people, sarcasm, stupid, wit
The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

3 weeks ago

egotist, humor, nice, nice thing, people, personality, self-centered, talk, thing, wit
Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

3 weeks ago

bright, humor, people, sarcasm, selling, smile, trust
Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

3 weeks ago

confusion, directions, humor, i, irony, lost, me, people, travel, wonder
When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

3 weeks ago

behavior, brag, bragging, humor, i, irony, mean, people, self-deprecation, social, social behavior
People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

3 weeks ago

advice, control, crazy, drive, humor, keys, life, life advice, people
The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

3 weeks ago

chocolate, comedy, food, humor, people, real, vegetable
Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

3 weeks ago

diet, eat, eating, food, humor, i, just, people, put, reading, recipe, slim, stay, want, weight

For even more funny people quotes, hit next 👇

All funny people quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Threads this month:

Fall fashion: where we all transform into stylish, toasty marshmallows!

92 shares on Twitch this month:

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

67 shares on X this month:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

70 shares on Slack this month:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

91 shares on Messenger this month:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

A friend of mine decided to cut all the toxic people out of his life, or so I was informed.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I don’t really do one-night stands, but I will do, like, 3-8 months of a semi-toxic, undefined relationship that wastes my time and ruins my life.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Making waves on Facebook:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Making waves on YouTube:

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

Just landed via Discord:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

Spotted on Discord:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

Making waves on Telegram:

Microdosing Christmas by being present.

Seen just now on Threads:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Going viral on Twitch:

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

Going viral on X:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Seen just now on Threads:

Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

Activity Log ✨

1112 Funny people quotes

More funny people quotes 👇

All funny people quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨