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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I need to consult the woods about this.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,655

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

Making waves on WeChat:

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

Breaking via Facebook:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Spotted on Messenger:

Everybody boo’d up, and I’m getting treated like celery on a hot wing plate.

Going viral on Messenger:

I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

Making waves on YouTube:

Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.

Making waves on Messenger:

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

Live now on X:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

Seen just now on Slack:

Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

Funny phone addiction quotes

Funny phone addiction quotes 📱😂 capture the hilarious truth about our screen obsession! From endless scrolling to phantom vibrations, these witty lines shine a light on how glued we are to our devices. Whether you’re sneaking a peek during a meeting or binge-watching memes at midnight, get ready to laugh at the quirks of modern tech life! 😜📵 #PhoneAddiction #TooReal

New funny phone addiction quotes 👇

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

0

2 months ago

addiction, bad, dependence, distraction, feels, humor, movie, phone, phone addiction, productive, productivity, screen, screen time, tech, tech dependence, time, watching, watching movie
There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

0

2 months ago

addiction, behavior, car, cars, dependence, distraction, epidemic, funny observation, just, life, observation, parked, parked car, people, phone, phone addiction, phones, social, social behavior, staring, technology, technology dependence, urban, urban life
Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

0

2 months ago

addicted, addiction, count, disorientation, Google, Google Maps, humor, maps, navigation, phone, phone addiction, screen, screen time, should, technology, technology humor, time
Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

0

4 months ago

4, addiction, again, app, apps, boredom, cage, cycle, ever, feel, over, pacing, phone, phone addiction, repetition, same, through, tiger, zoo
My Indian name would be “Stares at Phone All Day.”

0

5 months ago

addiction, day, humor, indian, Indian name, name, phone, phone addiction, smartphone, stares, staring, technology

All funny phone addiction quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

91 shares on Telegram this month:

If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

89 shares on Slack this month:

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

86 shares on Threads this month:

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

91 shares on Threads this month:

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

25 shares on Slack this month:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

22 folks are currently checking 👀

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I made some bad choices in life, but I never bought a pair of Crocs.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,251

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

Just landed via Twitch:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

Just landed via Telegram:

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

Trending via X:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

Making waves on Threads:

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Spotted on Facebook:

I only accept apologies in cash.

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