Commentary:
An audacity of reply guys: where every comment is a standing ovation to their own opinion 😂🙌
42 Funny sarcastic quotes
I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.
Commentary:
Living blissfully in my own bubble of confusion since forever 😂🤷♂️✨
I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.
Commentary:
Why get too close? I'm just practicing social distancing with curbs! 🚗😂
Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”
Commentary:
"Balloons: the original 'blow and behold' gifts! 🎈😂 #BreathtakingGifts"
This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.
Commentary:
"Why adult when you can just 'nap-tivate'? 😂✨ #LifeGoals 🛌💤"
“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?
Commentary:
"Why stop there? Might as well teach my toaster how to dance! 🕺🚿🚗🤣"
Stop making Fast and Furious movies.
Commentary:
"At this rate, even my popcorn is running out of gas! 🍿😅 #TooFastTooFurious"
I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.
Commentary:
"Time for some revenge… blood-bank style! 🦟🩸 Scratch that, mosquitoes! 😆😂"
I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.
Commentary:
"I've always suspected you were just 'full of hot air'! 😅🍃❄️ #CoolerThanICouldEverBe"
Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.
Commentary:
"Just doing my part to keep romance in check. 😂🐺💔 Stay vigilant, lone wolf on duty! 🌊🚶♂️"