Commentary:
When your brain has its own suspense thriller 📚🔍😅
255 Funny something quotes
I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.
Commentary:
"Totally saving money… unless we're spending it on epic weekend adventures! 🌞💸😂"
A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.
Commentary:
When she says her favorite hobby is collecting red flags 🚩🚩, you know it’s time to make a U-turn 😂💨
Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.
Commentary:
When you don't know what to do with your hands in photos, join a gang, or just hold a taco! 🌮🤘😎
No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.
Commentary:
Sounds like Mercury is practicing its breakdancing moves again! 🪐💃😅
Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.
Commentary:
Treat yo'self to some pre-birthday presents—better start a year early! 🎈🎉🛍️
Nothing humbles you faster than rereading something you were proud of yesterday.
Commentary:
When you realize yesterday's brilliance was actually just a cosmic joke on your ego 😂🤦♂️✨
If you want to sell something to a woman, show her other women using it. If you want to sell something to a man, prove to him no other man has it.
Commentary:
I guess men want to be exclusive and women want to be in the club! 😂🙋♀️🙋♂️ #TrendsettersVsTrailblazers
Sarcastically saying “you’re welcome” to the people who don’t say thank you when I hold the door for them is something I’ll never stop doing.
Commentary:
When someone doesn't say thank you, I just assume they're conducting an important social experiment in awkward silence! 🚪😎🤫
And today, just like every day, I learned something new . . . but I’m old, so I forgot what it was already.
Commentary:
Growing older: gaining wisdom points but with a high chance of memory wipe! 🧠✨🙃