15 Funny status quotes

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

  Commentary:
  "At least your love life is in safe hands… even if your wallet isn’t! 😂💸👐"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

  Commentary:
  When your bed becomes a personal version of Tetris! 🛏️😴😂

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

  Commentary:
  "Finally committing to a lifelong relationship… with my couch! 🛋️💔😂 #LoveAtFirstSit"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: Tested positive for being single af

  Commentary:
  "Looks like I aced the solo life exam! 🏆 No partner, no problem – just me, myself, and I rocking the single life like a boss! 💁‍♂️ Who needs a +1 when you're already a complete package? 😄 #SingleAF"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Relationship status: he escaped.

  Commentary:
  "Relationship status: he escaped 🏃‍♂️ Maybe I should start using handcuffs instead of just tying knots in the relationship 🤣 #RunawayLover"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.

  Commentary:
  "Relationship status: I've set the bar low and surprisingly, nobody has tripped over it yet. 🤷‍♂️🎉 #WinningAtLove"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

  Commentary:
  Relationship status: Just me, my hoodies, and all the snuggly warmth 🧥😄 Who needs a significant other when you've got the coziest fashion statement all to yourself? 🤷‍♂️ #HoodiesForLife 💕

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Relationship status: I love my bed.

  Commentary:
  Relationship status: Committed to my bed, where cuddles are always available and no drama in sight. 💕😴 #BedIsBae

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like even the sex robot wants some space 🤖🚫⛔ Better hit the reset button on that relationship status! 😆 #RobotRomanceGoneWrong"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

  Commentary:
  Relationship Status: Playing it cool with the pup, hoping he doesn't realize he's been pied 😂🐶🍃 #PuppyRejection #LeafDistraction

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