Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

It really cannot be overstated how many of your problems disappear once you have a beautiful woman who is in love with you.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

If I delete a tweet, I should disappear with it.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Twitter will always be your best app if you’re single, funny, or just depressed.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I stopped adding “Let me know if you have any more questions!” to my emails because don’t email me again.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,721

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

Just landed via Reddit:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Trending via Facebook:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

Trending via Reddit:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Spreading quickly via X:

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

Shared recently on Discord:

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

21 Funny status quotes

Funny status quotes bring instant smiles 😄 and lighten up your feed with a splash of wit 🎉. Perfect for those moments when you want to share a laugh 😂, break the ice 🧊, or simply brighten someone’s day 🌟. Whether you’re feeling cheeky or just plain silly 🤪, these playful lines add the perfect touch of humor to your social media vibe! 📲✨

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Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Telegram this month:

I can’t believe the gall of this bladder.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

85 shares on Slack this month:

Love is in the air fryer.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

30 shares on X this month:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

In every imagination I have pictured myself in, I’m never poor.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I find pleasure in closing tabs in my wife’s brain. This worry… done. That task… complete.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Have your guardian angel call my guardian angel.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

12 folks are currently checking 👀

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,352

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Microdosing hell by checking the web every day.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Making waves on YouTube:

So apparently problems don’t go away if you ignore them.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

Going viral on Discord:

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

Breaking via X:

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

Breaking via Messenger:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

Making waves on WeChat:

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Live now on Pinterest:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

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