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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡­ has copied:

Apparently “Spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¦ has viewed:

Cleaning a house with children in it is like shoveling snow on the North Pole.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says β€œvegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡° has bookmarked:

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ή has copied:

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¨ has viewed:

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡© has shared:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡² has bookmarked:

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,419

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on YouTube:

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Hate when people ask β€œwhy is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Live now on Discord:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Shared recently on X:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

Just shared via Instagram:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

Home Β» Funny Status Quotes

15 Funny status quotes

Funny status quotes bring instant smiles πŸ˜„ and lighten up your feed with a splash of wit πŸŽ‰. Perfect for those moments when you want to share a laugh πŸ˜‚, break the ice 🧊, or simply brighten someone’s day 🌟. Whether you’re feeling cheeky or just plain silly πŸ€ͺ, these playful lines add the perfect touch of humor to your social media vibe! πŸ“²βœ¨

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For even more funny status quotes, check out the next page, if available πŸ‘‡

All funny status quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ“ˆ

Hot Funny Quotes πŸ”₯

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ύ has viewed:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ί has bookmarked:

Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡© has shared:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡­ has copied:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡« has bookmarked:

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡· has copied:

I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡§ has viewed:

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡³ has copied:

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Seen just now on Facebook:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Going viral on Instagram:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Whenever Π† wake up and see that someone has wrΡ–tten a bunch of funny posts before noon, Π† assume they are a mornΡ–ng drΡ–nker.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

Making waves on Reddit:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Trending via Telegram:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Trending via WeChat:

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

Reported on Slack:

Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Shared recently on Slack:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

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