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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Have you tried complaining about it?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,278

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

Trending via Pinterest:

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

Shared recently on Reddit:

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

Breaking via Pinterest:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

Breaking via Reddit:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

Making waves on Slack:

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

27 Funny uncertainty quotes

More funny uncertainty quotes 👇

There should be a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?”.

3 weeks ago

acceptance, awkwardness, communication, conversation, different, humor, response, say, should, social, social acceptance, something, sure, uncertainty
Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

3 weeks ago

always, am, amazement, curiosity, doing, everyone, humor, i, introspection, know, life, life observations, myself, observations, self-awareness, self-reflection, think, time, uncertainty, watch
Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

3 weeks ago

doctor, good, guess, hear, humor, ID, just, medical, mine, say, uncertainty
No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

3 weeks ago

adulthood, being, costume, crisis, Halloween, humor, identity, knowing, life, life purpose, mid-20s, need, nothing, purpose, quarter-life, quarter-life crisis, self-discovery, uncertainty, want, year
Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

3 weeks ago

age, beginning, change, decision, everything, good, know, leave, life, life change, love, new, new beginning, over, start, starting, starting over, uncertainty
My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

3 weeks ago

budget, financial, financial planning, humor, i, know, last, month, planning, positivity, smile, uncertainty
Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

3 weeks ago

anxiety, concern, confusion, feeling, humor, know, something, uncertainty, worry

For even more funny uncertainty quotes, hit next 👇

All funny uncertainty quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Twitch this month:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

23 shares on YouTube this month:

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

58 shares on Discord this month:

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

My family passed down mood swings and anxiety instead of money or houses.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

Every word wishes it could sound as fun as falafel.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

84 shares on Threads this month:

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

When someone sits in the empty seat beside you: flattered yet annoyed. When no one sits in the empty seat beside you: offended yet relieved.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Pilots lowkey have an aura when they walk past you in the airport.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

What is it called when you were overthinking, and it turns out you were right?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Going viral on X:

Have your guardian angel call my guardian angel.

Making waves on Discord:

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

Trending via Telegram:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Going bananas on WeChat:

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

Just shared via Facebook:

If you see me in public, it’s AI.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

Just shared via Reddit:

Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Activity Log ✨

27 Funny uncertainty quotes

More funny uncertainty quotes 👇

All funny uncertainty quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨