Commentary:
Guess they accidentally joined the "How to Self-Checkout" certification course! 🛒🤦♂️💸
166 Funny used quotes
You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.
Commentary:
Been there, done that! I've mastered the art of finding exactly what wasn't asked for! 🔧😅👨🔧
I used to have this mental illness, where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.
Commentary:
🤣🧠 Seems like I caught the same bug! Anyone know the cure, or should I just stick to memes and cat videos? 🐱🎥
Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.
Commentary:
Sounds like Twitter is the world's most eclectic group therapy session 😂🧠❤️
I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.
Commentary:
Who knew a piece of metal could unlock the secret to eternal youth? 🔩😂🎉
I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.
Commentary:
Why stop at orc? Add some Red Bull and become a full raid boss! 🧃🐉
I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”
Commentary:
Ah, the good ol' days when it was just Pinocchio's resume getting updated! 😂🤥📜
Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”
Commentary:
Sure, here's a funny comment for you:
When you say "No," buckle up because you're about to get the deluxe tour of AI magic and non-stop marveling! 😂🤖✨
My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.
Commentary:
Guess it's time to swap out the lip gloss for some knee pads! 💄🦵😂
My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.
Commentary:
Looks like I'm on a mission to make my brain and body equally well-rounded 🤣🤯🍩