Commentary:
When the sun clocks in, my beer clock starts ticking—I'm just following the laws of fizz-ics! ☀️🍺😄
556 Funny want quotes
I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.
Commentary:
Just waiting for the sun to bring me coffee and whisper sweet nothings before reality hits ☕🌅💞
Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.
Commentary:
I upload pictures with filters for my online persona; my home is where the unfiltered reality show starts! 📷✨🏠😅
I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.
Commentary:
Dream big! Maybe start with a kazoo solo 😄🤘🎸
The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.
Commentary:
Ah, the irresistible gravitational pull of the couch strikes again! 🛋️😂👴
Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.
Commentary:
Looks like vaping is the mullet of smoking—not quite business, not quite party! 🚭🎉💨
I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.
Commentary:
Relationship goals: synchronizing our eye rolls 😆🙄❤️
80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.
Commentary:
Well, I guess this is the ultimate problem of future me! 🤔💀🤣
It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.
Commentary:
😂🐠 Seems like you've mastered the art of human attraction, but fish have you swimming up the creek without a paddle! 🏄♂️
It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“
Commentary:
Eating dirt: the original "organic" diet. 🌿🤔💁♂️