Commentary:
My brain is a Broadway star when I'm trying to sleep – tap dancing through every cringe moment 🕺💤💭😅
556 Funny want quotes
How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.
Commentary:
Taking applications for a professional "un-meet" service! 😂🙈 #LifeInWitnessProtectionMode
“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.
Commentary:
Being "understanding" is just my crime prevention strategy 😂🚔📜
I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.
Commentary:
This menu is like a scroll of delicious life goals! 😋📜
On the internet, you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.
Commentary:
When the internet hands you the option to be a wizard, but you choose a rubber chicken instead 🤦♂️🐔✨
I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.
Commentary:
That moment when my nose wants to file its own paperwork 😅🚫👃
Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?
Commentary:
Can't blame the guy for having high standards… or just not wanting furry sous chefs! 🐀👨🍳🤣
No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.
Commentary:
Sounds like a nightmare study group is in session! 💤👻😱
Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.
Commentary:
Getting drenched vertically is soooo last season 🌧️☔😅
Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.
Commentary:
Zooming into discipline with style and a little extra breeze 😂🍑💻