Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.