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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,478

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

Spotted on Twitch:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

Trending via Messenger:

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

Trending via WhatsApp:

How does a government that takes 40% of everyone’s money end up being trillions in debt?

Live now on Instagram:

Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.

Breaking via Facebook:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

Trending via X:

Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.

Just shared via WeChat:

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Spotted on YouTube:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

2 months ago

0

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's trying to spice up those boring work meetings! 😂📱 Just make sure he doesn't accidentally hit 'send' to his boss instead! 🙈💼 #MarriagePranks"

humor, husband, meeting, mess, nude, nudes, prank, relationship, send, send nude, text, texting, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

0

2 months ago

bottle, campus, college, humor, humor quote, independence, just, laptop, life, resilience, student, student life, study, water, water bottle, world
By now, we’ve all figured out that these LED bulbs don’t actually last 15 years, but we’ve collectively decided to just let it slide.

0

2 months ago

actually, agreement, bulb, collective, collective agreement, consumer, consumer experience, exaggeration, expectation, experience, humor, just, last, led, LED bulb, let, lifespan, lightbulb, reality, slide, technology
‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

0

2 months ago

another, casual, domestic, domestic life, door, front, home, humor, humorist, i, irony, life, myself, own, say, self-awareness, surprise, unexpected, walk
I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

0

2 months ago

fired, humor, i, job, joke, just, massage, parlor, people, reason, rub, specific, wrong, wrong way
Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

0

5 months ago

bisexual, care, deodorant, humor, i, identity, just, means, men’s, men’s product, perfume, personal, personal care, product, scent, wear
I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

0

5 months ago

humor, i, inappropriate, inappropriate touch, sun, sunburn, today, touch

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on YouTube this month:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

I need to be more disciplined and stop procrastinating, starting tomorrow.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.

99 shares on Threads this month:

Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

23 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Math is like Chinese to me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,354

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Making waves on WeChat:

I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

Going bananas on Discord:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Just landed via Telegram:

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Going bananas on Slack:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

Just landed via Threads:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

Trending via Messenger:

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

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