Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I buy candles like I’m preparing for a Victorian blackout.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

You will watch an old classic movie that kind of sucks. Then, on the IMDb trivia, it says, this was the first time a film director ever pointed the camera at the sun.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I just found out I have to go on dates to get a boyfriend. I’m sick to my stomach.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,480

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Going viral on Messenger:

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Making waves on Instagram:

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Sometimes you just need a Saturday to sleep all day and do absolutely nothing.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

Going bananas on Telegram:

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

Broadcasted on Slack:

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

1 month ago

Funny quote about health, highlighting humorously high cholesterol with a playful tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Breaking records like a champ… in the cholesterol game 🏆🍔 Keep reaching for the stars, even if they are made of bacon! 🌟🥓"

bad, bad news, cholesterol, diet, good, good news, health, high, high score, humor, i, irony, news, score, time, today, wellness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

1 month ago

crowd, haunted, haunted house, high, high school, house, humor, idea, lighting, lit, nostalgia, people, poorly, reunion, school, seen, shopping, spooky, Walmart
Garlic bread is my therapist now.

4 weeks ago

bread, comfort, comfort food, food, garlic, garlic bread, humor, therapist
Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

4 weeks ago

body, body image, chin, cowgirl, double, double chin, funny situation, humor, image, joke, physical, physical humor, playful, reverse, sexual, sexual humor, situation
If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

1 month ago

celebrity, even, hacked, humor, identity, irony, Kanye, know, privacy, surprise
Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

4 weeks ago

change, curiosity, everyday, everyday life, going, health, hear, hiccup, humor, i, less, life, modern, modern life, never, observation, people, popular
I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

1 month ago

homeless, humor, irony, joke, language, wit, wordplay

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Twitch this month:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

97 shares on WeChat this month:

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

77 shares on Discord this month:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

34 shares on Threads this month:

Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

82 shares on Discord this month:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

This Monday could have been an email.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Time needs a speed limit.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Someone at work is gonna suggest you download Outlook and Teams on your phone, and it’s very important that you don’t listen to them.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

In my culture, family is completely unimportant. And we hate food.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Being single allows you to do a lot of things. For example, standing naked in the kitchen at night and eating cold pizza.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Live now on Messenger:

I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Just shared via Instagram:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

Shared recently on X:

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

Making waves on Messenger:

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also a massive disappointment to my family.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Spotted on Reddit:

A designated hitter in baseball is the one who has to hit for everyone in case the team is drunk.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨