Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you, you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Only difference between me and someone in a psych ward is I’m outside.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I have to stand in the shower about this.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

Just shared via X:

Why are those Mad Max guys always driving around, it’s not like there’s anywhere to go?

Seen just now on Slack:

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

Making waves on Discord:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Software engineers are the dumbest smart people I’ve ever met.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

Just landed via Messenger:

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I was just practicing mindfulness before it was cool! 😎🌳🪑

chair, doing, doing nothing, grandparent, grandparents, humor, incredible, nature, nothing, observation, relaxation, right, sitting, staring, wisdom

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, cloth, date, dining, embarrassing, ever, fancy, food, good, luck, moment, restaurant, self-esteem, stain, table, table cloth, white
Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

0

4 weeks ago

accomplish, cartoon, collaboration, funny thought, got, humor, imagination, jerry, just, once, partnership, teamwork, thought, together, tom
I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

0

2 weeks ago

believe, brand, business, company, company name, GoDaddy, humor, i, name, still, surprise
Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

0

2 months ago

adventure, after, buying, expense, expensive, humor, journey, less, nav, road, sat, sat nav, travel
Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

0

2 months ago

dating, hospital, humor, mental, mental hospital, relationship, someone, spouse, Twitter
Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

0

2 months ago

am, computer, document, humor, i, identity, joke, just, question, tech, tech joke, untitled, Untitled Document

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Slack this month:

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not a 10. I’m more like two 5s held together by cheese and chocolate.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

53 shares on Slack this month:

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

42 shares on WeChat this month:

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

19 shares on Slack this month:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

“You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

The share button on Reddit should be called Spreddit.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

Making waves on Reddit:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Shared recently on Threads:

Please hesitate to reach out.

Live now on Pinterest:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

Just shared via YouTube:

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Just shared via Messenger:

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

Trending via YouTube:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

Just shared via YouTube:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨