Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

This world is extremely kind to men, so I am not.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Being single: When you don’t have to wait for someone to watch the next Netflix episode.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,254

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

Going bananas on Telegram:

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

Just shared via TikTok:

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

Going viral on Telegram:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Breaking via Twitch:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.

Trending via Slack:

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Seen just now on Twitch:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Riding shotgun in their car feels like we're in a real-life video game… just without the restart button! 🚗💨🕹️

behavior, car, driver, driving, ever, extra, extra life, game, got, humor, life, risky, risky behavior, road, road trip, someone, trip, video, video game

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

0

3 weeks ago

absolutely, after, delay, humor, management, meeting, never, new, next, procrastination, push, sarcasm, scheduling, time, time management, year, yes
Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

0

2 months ago

big, brussels, Brussels sprout, cabbage, comedy, food, humor, invention, joke, little, satire, sell, sprout, vegetable
I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

0

2 months ago

bring, dining, food, humor, i, joke, lot, restaurant, service, table, waiter, wit
Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

0

2 months ago

adulting, child, dinner, else, ever, expectations, feel, growing, growing up, hoping, humor, inner, inner child, inside, just, kid, only, outside, responsibility, someone
You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad hair, discount, giving, hair, hair salon, haircut, haircut joke, humor, joke, know, salon
I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

0

2 months ago

food, food humor, head, humor, i, ketchup, love, pun, t, tomato, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Threads this month:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

71 shares on X this month:

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

94 shares on Slack this month:

My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I love my bed so much, what a place.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

You will watch an old classic movie that kind of sucks. Then, on the IMDb trivia, it says, this was the first time a film director ever pointed the camera at the sun.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

Trending via Twitch:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Seen just now on Discord:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

Live now on YouTube:

Sometimes I sneeze so loud and hard I think I’m a dad.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨