Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Unfortunately, I don’t give ugly men a chance, because they wouldn’t give me one if I were the ugly one.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,636

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Going viral on Instagram:

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

Just shared via Discord:

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

Just shared via WeChat:

A garlic a day keeps people away.

Live now on WeChat:

I wish laying in bed all day made me rich.

Spotted on Threads:

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

Live now on Discord:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Just landed via Discord:

Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

Have your guardian angel call my guardian angel.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like our guardian angels need a networking lunch! 😇📞😎🍽️

angel, call, communication, guardian, guardian angel, humor, relationship, supernatural

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

0

2 months ago

browser, confusion, frozen, humor, i, idea, mind, multitasking, music, open, tabs, technology, web, web browser
Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

0

2 months ago

chore, clothes, dryer, ever, feel, folding, household, household chore, just, laundry, procrastination, restart
The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

0

5 months ago

brushing, brushing teeth, confidence, ever, falls, hottest, humor, i, moment, much, personal, personal moment, self, self-confidence, situation, teeth, tree, tree falls in the woods, underwear, woods
Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

0

2 months ago

eating, humor, i, joke, microplastics, packaging, satire, straight, time, waste, whole
Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

0

2 months ago

50s, aging, forgetfulness, health, help, humor, memory, remember, reminder, supplement, take, today, welcome
I’m sorry to break it to you, but you need a soul to have a soulmate.

0

2 months ago

break, dating, humor, love, need, relationship, sarcasm, sorry, soul, soulmate, witty

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Instagram this month:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

20 shares on TikTok this month:

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

33 shares on Discord this month:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

When is this robot army coming to take my job?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

For Halloween, I will be okay.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Just shared via WeChat:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Breaking via Twitch:

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

Live now on YouTube:

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

Spotted on Pinterest:

Dogs are like chicken nuggets; every time I see one, I want it.

Breaking via Discord:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

Shared recently on X:

What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

Just shared via Messenger:

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

Just shared via Slack:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Have your guardian angel call my guardian angel.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

I’m sorry to break it to you, but you need a soul to have a soulmate.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨