Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,753

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

Just landed via Twitch:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

Just shared via Twitch:

Welcome to your 40’s: you get excited about avocados now.

Spotted on Messenger:

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

Making waves on Telegram:

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

Spotted on Threads:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Witty text highlighting a playful take on attractiveness and pain levels.

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Commentary:
When he's a solid 10 but makes your appendix look like it's having a party 🎉😅

compliment, humor, joke, pain, rating, scale

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My middle finger salutes you.

3 months ago

attitude, finger, gesture, humor, insult, middle, middle finger, rude, rude gesture, salute, sarcasm
This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

3 months ago

attitude, called, casual, casual attitude, chapter, guess, humor, i, indifference, life, life chapter, ok, uncertainty, whatever
Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

3 months ago

arms, baby, betrayal, disappointment, else, emotional, holding, humor, humor quote, loyalty, put, relationship, someone, trust
I love having plans to cancel.

2 weeks ago

cancel, cancellation, having, humor, i, introvert, life, love, plan, plans, social, social life
Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

1 week ago

activity, car, coffee, coffee cup, cup, everyone, feeling, fun, fun activity, funny idea, humor, idea, interaction, just, lonely, roof, social, social interaction, wave
I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

3 months ago

age, communication, contact, eye, eye contact, humor, i, interaction, social, social interaction, someone, talker, where

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Facebook this month:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

95 shares on Slack this month:

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

44 shares on Threads this month:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Women’s skincare is so confusing. Am I supposed to look shiny and sweaty, or matte like cement?

41 shares on Reddit this month:

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

31 shares on Facebook this month:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

Going viral on Instagram:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Going bananas on Facebook:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

Shared recently on Threads:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, then honestly, you’re missing out because that’s when my jokes and bits get really, really good.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

Making waves on Threads:

I buy candles like I’m preparing for a Victorian blackout.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My middle finger salutes you.

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

I love having plans to cancel.

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨