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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Coffee is better when you have no work.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,458

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.

Just landed via Discord:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using ChatGPT for anything.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

Spotted on Instagram:

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Making waves on WeChat:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

Just landed via Slack:

Times New Roman never did anything to anybody. It was a real trooper. Then society unceremoniously dethroned it.

Making waves on WeChat:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

Witty text about financial advice highlighting humorously bad financial planning.
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Commentary:
Guess I should have hired a budget-priest instead! 🙃💰✂️

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Twitch this month:

For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

20 shares on Facebook this month:

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

59 shares on Threads this month:

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

56 shares on Twitch this month:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

time heals all wounds.” Wrong! Time is chasing me with a knife.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If you don’t have anything nice to say, sign up for Twitter.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

There will be people in your life that say you have too many books. Those are not your people.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,461

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

How about hold me as tight as you’re holding onto that grudge?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Drilling for oil is well boring.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

Breaking via TikTok:

My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

Spotted on Pinterest:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Making waves on Twitch:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

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