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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,702

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

Going viral on Reddit:

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

Just landed via Reddit:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Live now on WeChat:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Spotted on Threads:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When in doubt, mom's always right! 😂🤷‍♀️ #MomKnowsBest"

asked, ChatGPT, conversation, humor, i, mom, okay, question, relatability, technology, well

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

1 month ago
enough, humor, maturing, mushroom, self-awareness, stability, stable
At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

1 month ago
activity, age, bingo, fun, fun activity, game, meet, meet up, people, play, ready
Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

2 months ago
boob, boobs, communication, creativity, describe, humor, picture, visual
I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

1 month ago
back, date, difference, dropping, evolution, generational, generational difference, humor, language, language evolution, nostalgia, past, reference, slang, start, year, year reference, Zoomer
Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

1 month ago
alone, alone time, bed, comfort, cool, ever, humor, king, king size bed, personal, personal space, relatable, self-care, sex, size, space, time, yourself
Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

1 month ago
activity, carbs, day, effort, exertion, fitness, humor, i, laziness, load, minutes, much, myself, Olympic, quit, rest, sprinter

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Not my room, not my elephant.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Seen just now on Slack:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Breaking via Reddit:

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

Spotted on Telegram:

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

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Activity Log ✨

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

You don’t have to remember details when you don’t lie.

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Starting to think business is standing on me.

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

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“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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