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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ has downloaded:

Hey, weโ€™re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has copied:

Back in my day, if you were 14 on the internet, you kept that to yourself.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has shared:

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฎ has viewed:

If I had a bf, Iโ€™d be a gf.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ถ has viewed:

You canโ€™t confuse me. I already donโ€™t know whatโ€™s going on.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ถ has bookmarked:

My favorite kind of gender reveal is the one where the parents find out, and they just tell everyone through text instead of making me go to a party.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฆ has bookmarked:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

You can just enjoy kombucha. You donโ€™t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,604

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Trending via LinkedIn:

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

Just shared via Discord:

You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Long-term relationship? Like Tom and Jerry?

Just shared via Telegram:

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

Just shared via WeChat:

If you pick a movie thatโ€™s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

Spotted on Facebook:

My wifeโ€™s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

Shared recently on Slack:

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

Live now on Facebook:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

Humorous words about internal panic, featuring a witty message on a plain background.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
This email probably knows me better than my therapist ๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ“ง

, , , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going ๐Ÿ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars โญ

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

93 shares on Slack this month:

I love when someone texts โ€œhey,โ€ like Iโ€™m supposed to solve the rest.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

Itโ€™s Motherโ€™s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

I just really hope The Weekndโ€™s real name isnโ€™t Mnday.

40 shares on Threads this month:

On one hand, itโ€™s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, itโ€™s terrible to have access to the Internet.

54 shares on Threads this month:

Your honor, my client wasnโ€™t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

10 shares on X this month:

Cashews are my favorite because theyโ€™re salty and hunched over just like me.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

10 shares on Reddit this month:

This email couldโ€™ve been sex.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Sometimes I donโ€™t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I donโ€™t let that stop me.

24 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

22 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but itโ€™s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

13 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

13 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

8 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

9 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive lifeโ€™s daily bullshit.

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Iโ€™d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, Iโ€™d be like, โ€œOkay, my turn.โ€

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,337

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ป has shared:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

Bragging about how Iโ€™ve โ€œreally turned my life around recentlyโ€ without mentioning in which direction.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has copied:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

There are two types of people in the world, those who have to go to Walmart, and those who get to go to Walmart.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has viewed:

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

Maybe Iโ€™m wrong, but I still don’t think our parents realized how far we rode our bikes in the 80s and 90s.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ธ has downloaded:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

Straight man stuns they/them by ordering in fluent woke.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ด has downloaded:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just shared via YouTube:

People will think you know what youโ€™re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

Trending via Messenger:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like itโ€™s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

Going viral on Slack:

Did you guys hear about the โ€œinternetโ€? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

Trending via Twitch:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Just landed via Pinterest:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Live now on YouTube:

Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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