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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

My boss denied me a raise before my shift today. What’s some music you have never wanted to hear in a coffee shop?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,521

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

Trending via Facebook:

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

Just landed via TikTok:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

Just shared via Slack:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Trending via Slack:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

Going viral on Slack:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
This email probably knows me better than my therapist 🤦‍♂️😂📧

bet, communication, email, feeling, finds, humor, i, inner, inner feeling, inside, screaming, silence, stress

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

0

2 months ago

curiosity, faster, irony, media, relationship, social, social media, someone, story, talk, watch
Googling symptoms until you cry.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, cry, diagnosis, Googling, health, humor, internet, search, symptoms
I have more trips planned than I have money.

0

2 months ago

budget, finance, humor, i, money, planned, planning, travel, trip
Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

0

2 months ago

everyone, everything, expert, humor, irony, media, online, opinion, sarcasm, social, social media, Twitter, welcome, where
Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

0

2 months ago

before, chance, confidence, coworkers, dominance, humor, sarcasm, say, tired, work, workplace
Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

0

2 months ago

Barbie, doll, movie, plot, whatever, worse

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

49 shares on Discord this month:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

34 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

72 shares on Threads this month:

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

51 shares on Threads this month:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

48 shares on Messenger this month:

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

73 shares on Facebook this month:

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Just seen a guy with a Coca-Cola and yellow Lay’s chips. Classic combo, he knows his stuff.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I’m a big believer in not going to work on your birthday!

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I read that Miley Cyrus will be starring in a remake of Silence of the Lambs. She’ll be playing Hannibal Montannibal.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

Live now on Facebook:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Just shared via X:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Spotted on WeChat:

Just looked around and realized it’s everyone’s first time living.

Going viral on Instagram:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Cashier: Did you find everything? Me: Did you hide something?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Googling symptoms until you cry.

I have more trips planned than I have money.

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨