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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

26 minutes ago

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

Just landed via Facebook:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Going viral on Telegram:

Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

Spotted on YouTube:

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

Just shared via Discord:

Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Hey Grok, scan through all my mutuals and find me a girlfriend, thanks!

Just landed via Slack:

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

3 months ago

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, the irony! The tea that was supposed to calm your nerves is now causing havoc instead! 🍵😬 Maybe it's a mislabeled 'Excitement Tea'? 🤔 Time to switch to a new brand before your nerves go on a rollercoaster ride! 🎢😆"

beverage, calming, humor, i, irony, making, me, nervous, relaxation, smell, taste, tea

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

26 minutes ago

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

“The engine light is on!” Yeah, that means it’s working.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Sometimes, I feel like I need love, but the moment I finish eating, I realize I was just hungry.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

Spotted on TikTok:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Live now on Discord:

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

Trending via WhatsApp:

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

Trending via Snapchat:

Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

Just landed via YouTube:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Just shared via Reddit:

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

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