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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

When old people say, “Long as you happy,” that means you’re pretty dumb.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Back in my day, if you were 14 on the internet, you kept that to yourself.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,375

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

Going bananas on TikTok:

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

Live now on YouTube:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

Live now on Telegram:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

0
I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, the irony! The tea that was supposed to calm your nerves is now causing havoc instead! 🍵😬 Maybe it's a mislabeled 'Excitement Tea'? 🤔 Time to switch to a new brand before your nerves go on a rollercoaster ride! 🎢😆"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Twitch this month:

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

23 shares on Slack this month:

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

57 shares on Discord this month:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

98 shares on WeChat this month:

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

58 shares on Slack this month:

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

70 shares on WeChat this month:

This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

68 shares on Threads this month:

I am single, please disturb me!

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Being single allows you to do a lot of things. For example, standing naked in the kitchen at night and eating cold pizza.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

US etiquette question: Do you need to tip the guy at the border who reads your last five years of social media history?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,659

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m too tired to shower. Anyone want to wash my back?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

We’re so close to “Let’s circle back next year” season, I can taste it.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Taylor Swift’s prenup is about to be longer than any book Travis Kelce has ever read.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

Making waves on TikTok:

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Anything can be a dating app if you aren’t a coward.

Shared recently on Discord:

Ex’s be like “I gave you everything”. Yeah, trust issues.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

Making waves on Twitch:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

Going viral on Threads:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Just landed via X:

One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

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