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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,335

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Making waves on Telegram:

This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

Going bananas on Telegram:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Making waves on YouTube:

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

Shared recently on X:

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

Shared recently on Slack:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

Going viral on TikTok:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Playful quote about nervousness from calming tea, with a humorous twist on taste and smell.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, the irony! The tea that was supposed to calm your nerves is now causing havoc instead! 🍵😬 Maybe it's a mislabeled 'Excitement Tea'? 🤔 Time to switch to a new brand before your nerves go on a rollercoaster ride! 🎢😆"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on TikTok this month:

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

12 shares on Threads this month:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

99 shares on Threads this month:

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

73 shares on X this month:

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I fall in love with a song and play it until I absolutely don’t wanna hear it no more.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I put the mess in domestic.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,376

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Best thing about TikTok is you literally don’t need to follow anyone to have a good time.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

Shared recently on TikTok:

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

Making waves on Pinterest:

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

Just landed via Telegram:

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

Trending via Telegram:

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

Making waves on Messenger:

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

Spotted on Twitch:

Animals be 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Just landed via Twitch:

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

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