Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Nobody in the entire world has ever known what to do with me.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,700

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Broadcasted on X:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I need a break from me.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Making waves on Discord:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

Trending via Slack:

A selfie only a mother could like.

Making waves on Telegram:

I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Playful quote about email struggles, highlighting humorous frustration with communication.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Emails are like cookies—they never find me well, but always find me snacking! 🍪📧😂"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Messenger this month:

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

36 shares on X this month:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

44 shares on YouTube this month:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

57 shares on X this month:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

42 shares on WeChat this month:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

67 shares on Slack this month:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

18 shares on X this month:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like smashing my phone would be cathartic.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Pronouncing hyperbole like guacamole.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,659

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, “I don’t even have a coconut!”

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

Going viral on Facebook:

If you’re thinking of becoming a parent, just imagine working 6,570 days straight without a day off.

Breaking via Twitch:

My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

Trending via Pinterest:

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

Seen just now on Twitch:

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

Making waves on Instagram:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Spotted on Reddit:

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Just landed via X:

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

Trending via Facebook:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

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