Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Y’all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at y’all now.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

This is my emotional support online shopping cart.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

I’m an optimist and i understand how annoying that is.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,282

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

Trending via WeChat:

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

Spotted on Pinterest:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Spotted on Reddit:

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

Breaking via Threads:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

Just landed via Slack:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Going viral on Slack:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Trending via Slack:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

Seen just now on Slack:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Emails are like cookies—they never find me well, but always find me snacking! 🍪📧😂"

communication, email, ever, found, humor, i, me, sarcasm, single, stress, technology, think, well, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Yeah no” is my favorite combo.

0

5 months ago

casual, casual language, combo, conversation, expression, favorite, favorite combo, humor, language, phrase, slang
Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

0

2 months ago

appreciate, back, being, humor, important, life, me, offline, online, time
I become the most financially irresponsible person in the world the second I step into a Japanese stationary store.

0

19 hours ago

buying, financial, financial irresponsibility, i, impulse, impulse buying, irresponsibility, irresponsible, Japanese, most, person, second, shopping, stationary, stationary store, step, store, world
I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

0

2 months ago

energy-saving, energy-saving mode, humor, lazy, mode, motivation, procrastination, productivity, relaxation
If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

0

2 months ago

communication, date, expectations, held, humor, i, men, only, pick, plans, power, relationships, reservation, reservations, uncertainty, whatever
Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

0

2 months ago

calling, compliment, cookie, humor, irony, sarcasm, someone, tough, tough cookie, worst, worst cookie

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

20 shares on WeChat this month:

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

62 shares on Facebook this month:

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

I could be staring at my hand locking my front door, and I still won’t feel 100% sure my front door was locked.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Yeah, because I won’t be leaving my bed.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Breaking via Discord:

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

Trending via Messenger:

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

Going bananas on YouTube:

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

Going bananas on WeChat:

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

Making waves on Slack:

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

Making waves on Messenger:

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

Breaking via Slack:

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

Just shared via Pinterest:

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“Yeah no” is my favorite combo.

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

I become the most financially irresponsible person in the world the second I step into a Japanese stationary store.

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨