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Commentary:
"Who needs caffeine when you've got misanthropy for that extra kick! ☕️🤨 Fuel your day with a good ol' dose of bitterness and sarcasm. Just don't forget to sprinkle in some humor along the way! 😏 #MisanthropyPower"

coffee, fuel, humor, i, me, misanthropy, motivation, need, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

0

2 months ago

beer, bruised, cold, cold beer, drinking, ego, going, humor, ice, relaxation, self-care
If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

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2 months ago

disrespect, due, ever, humor, i, irony, none, please, respect, sarcasm, say, understand, witty
My favorite Christmas Eve tradition is the one where I tell my kids we have to get the house spotless, or Santa won’t come.

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2 weeks ago

Christmas, Christmas Eve, eve, favorite, house, i, kid, kids, Santa, spotless, tell, tradition, where
My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

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2 months ago

funny moment, humor, moment, napping, sneeze, story, villain, wife
Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

0

2 months ago

brain, chemicals, happy, happy chemicals, health, humor, mental, mental health, mood, motivation, release
Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.

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1 month ago

diary, everything, fix, frustration, humor, i, lock, lock in, responsibility, task, tomorrow

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

13 shares on X this month:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

47 shares on Instagram this month:

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

70 shares on Twitch this month:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

35 shares on X this month:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Cool times create cool guys.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I get writer’s block responding to people.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Being a writer means canceling your plans so you have time to write, and then spending hours avoiding writing.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

Just shared via Threads:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

Going viral on Facebook:

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

Trending via Twitch:

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

Going viral on Slack:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Trending via Slack:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Seen just now on Discord:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

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Activity Log ✨

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

My favorite Christmas Eve tradition is the one where I tell my kids we have to get the house spotless, or Santa won’t come.

My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨