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Commentary:
"Who needs caffeine when you've got misanthropy for that extra kick! ☕️🤨 Fuel your day with a good ol' dose of bitterness and sarcasm. Just don't forget to sprinkle in some humor along the way! 😏 #MisanthropyPower"

coffee, fuel, humor, i, me, misanthropy, motivation, need, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you can’t handle me at my worst, then honestly, you’re missing out because that’s when my jokes and bits get really, really good.

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4 months ago

attitude, bit, good, handle, humor, joke, jokes, me, missing, personality, relationship, worst
You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on social media every day.

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1 week ago

action, daily, daily life, day, every, fix, humor, internet, life, media, observation, social, social media, stupid, watch
Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

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1 month ago

anyone, decision, decisions, ever, every, humor, i, management, morning, procrastination, self-deprecation, time, time management, wake, wake up, worst, worst decision
Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

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2 months ago

aunt, communication, cousin, died, family, gossip, humorous, humorous observation, husband, just, know, mom, neighbor, neighbors, observation, should, thought
The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

0

2 months ago

cake, eat, fitness, food, harder, humor, kidnap, safe, safety, stay, weigh, weight
He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

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5 months ago

dance, excitement, expression, fun, humor, i, likes, shakalaka, slang

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on WeChat this month:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

I wonder what John Connor thinks now that everyone is embracing AI.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

12 shares on Slack this month:

The older I get, I realize my mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

44 shares on Threads this month:

I can’t believe we live in the timeline where we invented a technology to make it so we can never trust a photo or video again.

90 shares on Discord this month:

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I actually think my version of the lyrics makes more sense.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Seen just now on Discord:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

Seen just now on Discord:

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

Breaking via X:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Breaking via Reddit:

Discovering the Spice Girls broke up not over money and fame but lesbianism.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

All I want I for Christmas is to go to the mall in 1986.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If you can’t handle me at my worst, then honestly, you’re missing out because that’s when my jokes and bits get really, really good.

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on social media every day.

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨