Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,519

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Live now on Slack:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

Just landed via Telegram:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Trending via Threads:

I see 1000 girls. I know 100 girls. I talk to 10 girls. I love 1 girl. And she doesn’t love me back.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

Just shared via TikTok:

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

Making waves on Instagram:

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs accurate facts when you've got confidence, right? 🤖😂 Just call me Artificially Incorrect! 🤣"

AI, common, comparison, confidence, confident, humor, i, incorrect, incorrect information, information, lot, occasionally, technology, tone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

0

2 months ago

convince, house, husband, live, love, marriage, me, relationship, same, situation, situationship, trying
If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

0

2 months ago

adventure, factory, fast, food, ID, imagination, marinara, river, spaghetti, tube, Wonka
Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

0

5 months ago

anticipation, faster, humor, lurking, Monday, nothing, procrastination, remembering, reminder, ruin, ruins, shadow, weekend, workweek
The ability to adjust your vocabulary based on who you’re speaking to is a valuable life skill that many people lack.

0

5 months ago

ability, adjustment, communication, lack, life, life skill, people, skill, social, social skill, speaking, vocabulary
I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

0

2 months ago

20, argument, comments, day, discussion, hello, humor, humorist, i, media, online, online discussion, post, posting, social, social media
It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

0

2 months ago

again, back, frustration, headache, here, i, illegal, nap, should, shut, shut off, sleep, still, take, wake, wake up

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

51 shares on Discord this month:

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

Jesus invited prostitutes to dinner and was praised for compassion. I do it, and suddenly I ‘made Christmas awkward.’

50 shares on WeChat this month:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Men absolutely love buying the same shirt in four almost identical colors and saying, ‘Yep, that’ll do me for the next three years.’

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I can’t believe the gall of this bladder.

Making waves on Threads:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Live now on Messenger:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

Just shared via Instagram:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Making waves on X:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

Spotted on Telegram:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

The ability to adjust your vocabulary based on who you’re speaking to is a valuable life skill that many people lack.

I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨