I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

“Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Sign at the zoo says “don’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Girls Just Want To Have Naan