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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I must retire to my chambers about this.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I’m one group chat away from vanishing into the woods to befriend forest creatures.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,814

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I think it’s very sexy of me to still move with love in a world like this.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Live now on YouTube:

Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

Spotted on Discord:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Spotted on Discord:

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Making waves on WeChat:

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Sounds like you were born to pilot a spaceship full of emojis 🚀🤣📱!

activity, button, buttons, fun, fun activity, humor, i, Instagram, liking, media, pressing, pressing button, social, social media, story

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

1 month ago
feel, fitness, holiday, humor, irony, January, November, treadmill, turkey
We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

1 month ago
drink, good, humor, irony, lying, lying down, man, moon, problem, put, relaxation, space, wine
I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

1 month ago
anthem, award, award ceremony, ceremony, country, country music, humor, i, listen, music, music preference, national, national anthem, preference
Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

1 month ago
aging, bat, fun, getting, hanging, humor, morning, neck, neck pain, old, pain, sleep, upside, wake
Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

1 month ago
addiction, away, craving, distraction, humor, humor quote, internet, internet addiction, me, over, phone, procrastination, someone, take, technology
I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

1 month ago
away, dreams, escape, humor, i, imagination, murder, plan, silly, wake

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

“Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

Going viral on YouTube:

All quiet on the frontal lobe.

Making waves on Facebook:

Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

Making waves on Twitch:

The older I get, the more I respect Sleeping Beauty. She took one look at the world and said, “Nah.”

Just shared via Pinterest:

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

Sorry, I can’t today. I have to sit in my room and make matters worse.

This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

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I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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