Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Behind every beautiful woman is either tummy issues, low iron, or poor eyesight.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I do not want to have a career. I want to sit on the porch.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,854

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Going bananas on Discord:

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

Trending via Discord:

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Live now on Telegram:

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

Just landed via Facebook:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Please respond to my telepathic messages.

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Enjoying that premium silent service experience! 🤫🚗😄

awkward, awkward moment, both, conversation, driver, full, hell, humor, i, love, moment, passenger, quiet, ride, shut, silence, transportation, Uber

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

0

2 months ago

humor, insight, missing, misunderstanding, perception, relationship, women
Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

0

2 months ago

activity, day, detox, digital, digital detox, friends, fun, fun activity, grass, gutted, health, mental, mental health, nature, offline, outdoor, outdoor activity, report, socializing, spending, touching, touching grass
Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

0

2 months ago

arrested, chain, chain of command, charge, city, comedy, comedy idea, command, concept, funny concept, idea, leader, librarian, major, major city, people, person, running, sitcom, top, unexpected, unexpected leader, where
One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

0

2 months ago

accident, accidentally, arts, humor, journey, karate, martial, martial arts, master, spider, training, walk, web
It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

0

2 months ago

always, humor, irony, lesson, life, life lesson, mosquito, only, perspective, problem, problem-solving, problems, realize, solve, solving, testicle, violence
You could waterboard pretty much any embarrassing information out of me. I’m very waterboardable.

0

22 hours ago

embarrassing, embarrassing information, exaggeration, humor, information, interrogation, me, much, pretty, sarcasm, waterboard

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Discord this month:

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

12 shares on Slack this month:

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

61 shares on Discord this month:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Spreading quickly via X:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Shared recently on Threads:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Researchers have discovered that birthdays are healthy. People who have more grow older.

Breaking via Telegram:

Please just wait until my mating ritual is over before you decide.

Just landed via Threads:

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

Making waves on Facebook:

Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

You could waterboard pretty much any embarrassing information out of me. I’m very waterboardable.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨