Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.
  • Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.
  • If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.
  • Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.
  • The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.
  • Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.