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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has bookmarked:

So, youโ€™re telling me Iโ€™m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ has copied:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokรฉmon Go.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡จ has shared:

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ง has shared:

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ซ has bookmarked:

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡พ has bookmarked:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubikโ€™s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

Maybe your baby is crying because he knows you don’t have rizz.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ธ has downloaded:

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,249

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Seen just now on Slack:

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

Spotted on WeChat:

The sound of a buzzing fly is enough to ruin my whole mood.

Making waves on Threads:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Just shared via Facebook:

Welcome to your 40โ€™s: youโ€™re not hungover, itโ€™s just Tuesday.

Just landed via Discord:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

Making waves on Twitch:

Can someone please help me, Iโ€™m still at the Fyre Festival.

Going viral on Pinterest:

The ability to adjust your vocabulary based on who you’re speaking to is a valuable life skill that many people lack.

Breaking via Discord:

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

Seen just now on Slack:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Seen just now on Slack:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

I probably think this song is about me.

I probably think this song is about me.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of accidental ego boost brought on by music! ๐ŸŽต๐Ÿคฃ It's definitely not paranoia if the song sparks a personal connection, right? ๐ŸŽถ๐Ÿ˜‚ Just embrace the accidental self-centered anthem and rock on like the star you believe you are! ๐ŸŒŸ๐ŸŽค"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

Social Media Stars โญ

60 shares on WeChat this month:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and Itโ€™s Monday Tomorrow.

42 shares on X this month:

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

92 shares on YouTube this month:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

16 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

19 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

17 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

9 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

13 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

13 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kidsโ€™ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasnโ€™t shot on my street.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,596

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ธ has shared:

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ญ has downloaded:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has copied:

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has shared:

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ญ has downloaded:

I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฐ has shared:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡พ has downloaded:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has copied:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Be gentle with me, Iโ€™m from the 1900s.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I hate that I present as an independent woman who doesn’t need any help. It’s a facade. Help me.

Shared recently on Slack:

Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

Trending via Facebook:

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

Just landed via Twitch:

I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

Breaking via YouTube:

Whoever created / mandated the auto start-stop feature on cars should be dragged into the town square to be tarred and feathered!

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

Seen just now on X:

One thing nobody gives pigeons enough credit for is their ability to get out of the way on the sidewalk. A lot of you could learn a thing or two from them.

Trending via Reddit:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

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