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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

The art of letting whoever think whatever.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,547

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m a huge fan of saying “You’re welcome” really loudly when people don’t say thank you.

Trending via Telegram:

Job interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ time?” Me: “My greatest strength is that I’m a good listener.”

Just landed via Facebook:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Lowkey terrifying when someone attractive is actually into you, omg.

Trending via Snapchat:

I love Pinterest. No opinions. No bad vibes. Just pretty pictures.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

Just landed via X:

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Hey, if you're feeling the heat, just remember, you're keeping me cool! 😎🔥 Stay chill, my friends! ❄️ #CoolerThanYou"

comparison, confidence, cooler, hotter, humor, me, means, self-esteem, witty

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

0

2 months ago

cooking, creativity, food, humor, kitchen, lettuce, rule-breaking, rules, salad, want
I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work.

0

1 month ago

effort, heart, humor, i, illness, love, mental, mental illness, putting, relationship, sarcasm, soul, thought, used, where, work
I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

0

2 months ago

anything, desire, goodbye, i, never, rekindle, relationship, see you
For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

0

2 months ago

desire, Halloween, humor, i, love, loved
“You look tired”. No, I’m just ugly.

0

2 months ago

appearance, honesty, humor, just, sarcasm, self-deprecation, tired, ugly
Why read the room when you can leave the room?

0

2 months ago

cues, humor, leave, leaving, read, room, sarcasm, social, social cues, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why don’t straight men and lesbians hang out like straight women and gays do?

74 shares on Twitch this month:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

54 shares on Discord this month:

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

Porn is free, so why are you in my DMs?

35 shares on WeChat this month:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Today, I want to talk about how people’s houses smell funny, but mine doesn’t.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

Going viral on Reddit:

Mount Rushmore would be way more American if all the presidents were eating.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Go ahead and get some sleep, everyone. I’ll stay up and handle the overthinking.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Spotted on Facebook:

My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

Shared recently on Threads:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

Shared recently on Instagram:

It was a complicated 17-hour surgery, but they finally managed to separate the art from the artist.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work.

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

“You look tired”. No, I’m just ugly.

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨