Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Normalize booing in the workplace.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Nosferatu 2024, Frankenstein 2025, and Werwulf 2026. I was born at exactly the right time.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I think every app should, by law, let you deactivate all of its short-form video content.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,600

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

Just landed via TikTok:

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

Seen just now on Reddit:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Spreading quickly via X:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

Spotted on Twitch:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Warning: My heart may be icy, but my feet are straight out of the Arctic! ❄️🥶 Step carefully, you might get frostbite!"

cold, feel, feelings, feet, heart, humor, should, think, warmth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

0

2 months ago

advice, book, buy, humor, irony, joke, psychology, reverse, reverse psychology, writing
After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

0

4 weeks ago

advice, after, amount, back, book, books, bookshelf, cut, decision, hearing, humor, i, listen, listening, people, reading, too
My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, coping, health, humor, me, mental, mental health, overwhelmed, point, self-care, stress
If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

0

2 months ago

best, Christmas, day, holiday, humor, job, judging, leisure, one day, people, rest, Santa, think, time, work, works, year
Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

0

5 months ago

dude, got, MacBook, place, places, public, public place, sudden, work
“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

0

2 months ago

another, back, circling, circling back, communication, humor, just, lap, meetings, take, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Instagram this month:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

77 shares on X this month:

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

48 shares on Discord this month:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

These aliens are taking forever.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Live now on Instagram:

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

Going bananas on Threads:

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Shared recently on WeChat:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Live now on Twitch:

Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

Live now on Snapchat:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨