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Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

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I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

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First responders? You mean reply guys?

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Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

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I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

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Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

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Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

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Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

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People who remember to drink water, whatโ€™s that like?

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I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

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I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Commentary:
"Just over here balancing between existential crises and oblivious bliss. It's a tightrope act! ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿคนโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ˜…"

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