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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I’m a big believer in not going to work on your birthday!

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

It’s crazy that things have got to a point where you can say, “Jurassic Park 3 is one of the better movies in the series.”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,614

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Making waves on Facebook:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Making waves on Threads:

Maybe in another universe, I punched him in the face instead of staying quiet.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Making waves on Threads:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

Just shared via Slack:

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

Spotted on Discord:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

Seen just now on Messenger:

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Just over here balancing between existential crises and oblivious bliss. It's a tightrope act! 🤔🤹‍♂️😅"

balance, delusion, delusional, enjoy, enjoyment, give, humor, irony, life, little, self-awareness, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

0

2 months ago

activity, being, favorite, full, humor, introvert, loud, people, quiet, room, social, sport
I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

0

2 months ago

activity, adulthood, count, errand, going, going out, humor, life, life stage, place, stage
Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

0

2 months ago

away, cat, cats, change, Christmas, day, decorations, holiday, humor, pet, pet humor, putting, sad, sad day, seasonal, seasonal change, tree
I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

0

2 months ago

ambition, crazy, halfway, humor, rich, self-awareness, wealth
Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.

0

3 weeks ago

actually, am, autism, gathering, humor, i, misunderstanding, movie, movie night, night, social, social gathering, thought, watch, watching, watching movie
People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

0

2 months ago

away, bad, distancing, humor, introvert, outside, people, social, social distancing, solitude, stay, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Discord this month:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

28 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

70 shares on Discord this month:

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

83 shares on Threads this month:

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Do people who spend a fortune on outdoor heating know they can just go inside?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I love people who refuse to follow the crowd. The crowd is always lost, follow your inner compass.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

Making waves on WeChat:

Coffee tastes so much better handed to me.

Breaking via TikTok:

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

Trending via Instagram:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Going viral on Reddit:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

Shared recently on Discord:

Being a little freak is my love language.

Just landed via Threads:

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

Making waves on Reddit:

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

Spotted on Facebook:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨