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Commentary:
"Ah, the art of giving up – always evolving, always whimsical! 🤷‍♂️💫 Who said quitting had to be boring anyway? Keep exploring those creative avenues to surrender, you trendsetter, you! 😉🎉"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

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2 months ago

alarm, dust, early, humor, kid, me, needs, parenting, scream, today, wake, wake up
“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

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2 months ago

always, back, back pain, chair, humor, hurt, i, irony, never, pain, posture, say, self-awareness, sitting
Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

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2 months ago

ask, awkward, blocked, comedy, couch, courage, humor, i, imagine, me, playful, quirky, rejection, relationship, under, unexpected, why
Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

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2 months ago

breakfast, brunch, combination, dinner, food, humor, lunch, meal, wine, winner
Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

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2 months ago

aging, eyesight, failing, humor, mirror, nature, older, past, self-image, shock, stress, walk
The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

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2 months ago

activity, diddly, doing, even, exercise, fitness, humor, laziness, only, squat, today

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on WeChat this month:

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

76 shares on Instagram this month:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

63 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

72 shares on Threads this month:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Social media is mental suicide.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I’m at the age where I consider any picture of me taken in the last ten years “current.”

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

Spotted on TikTok:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Breaking via Facebook:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’ve watched porn with better writing than Stranger Things.

Breaking via Pinterest:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If you encounter a teenager out in the wild, be kind. They are the first generation of kids whose parents are cooler than they are.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Spotted on Reddit:

Can’t be sexting when you’re somewhat articulate. You just sound like a vampire.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨