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Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Me, aged 20: This is internship summer. I will get an internship. I will find a job. I will study. I will read. I will learn piano. I will… Me, nowadays: This summer, I’m going to try all of the ice cream flavors.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

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Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

Just shared via Slack:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

Going viral on Instagram:

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

Live now on Discord:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Spotted on Telegram:

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Spotted on Slack:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

2 days ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous text about enjoying a pricey burger alone at a desk with a mirror.

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Commentary:
Feeling fancy while contemplating existential questions with a $19 burger 😎🍔💸

desk, dining, eating, front, fun, getting, hamburger, humor, i, indulgence, just, love, luxury, mirror, restaurant, room, room service, service, solo, solo dining

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Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Discord this month:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

89 shares on Threads this month:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

62 shares on Slack this month:

All women want is to consistently annoy one handsome man forever.

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

87 shares on Facebook this month:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

Outside letting mosquitoes get some of this.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The world was better off when street gangs settled things with choreographed dance battles.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

New York is so awesome. Like, yes, let’s spend $108 for breakfast and walk past homeless people freezing.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

Live now on Discord:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Just shared via Discord:

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Spotted on TikTok:

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

Spotted on Twitch:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

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Activity Log ✨

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨