I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

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Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

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Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.