Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

My toxic trait is optimism.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,339

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Freshly posted on Threads:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

Spotted on TikTok:

Don’t be boring. Create the gossip you would like to hear.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

Trending via Snapchat:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Just landed via Discord:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

Making waves on Discord:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

Just landed via X:

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like you've got a highly detailed nighttime drama series running in your head! 🌙🛌📚

anxiety, detail, every, got, great, humor, i, insomnia, know, middle, night, overthinking, problem, problems, review, sleep, wake, worry

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

0

2 months ago

ask, breakfast, coffee, conversation, daily, daily routine, eating, girl, humor, i, routine, say
I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

0

2 months ago

brag, confidence, excel, faults, hate, humor, i, irony, self-deprecation, wit
Wonder if I should do something with my life, or kind of just continue to hang out.

0

2 months ago

decision, hang, hanging, hanging out, humor, i, just, kind, life, life decision, procrastination, reflection, self, self-reflection, should, something, wonder
Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

0

2 months ago

advice, care, communication, confusion, everyone, humor, me, misunderstanding, phrase, take, take care, why
Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

0

2 months ago

apology, communication, honesty, humor, i, nothing, sarcasm, say, silence, social, sorry, touch, witty
Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

0

5 months ago

awkward, birthday, hate, i, media, notification, social, social media, story, view

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Twitch this month:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

85 shares on Facebook this month:

Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

67 shares on X this month:

I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

59 shares on Threads this month:

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

87 shares on Discord this month:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

83 shares on Discord this month:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

49 shares on Threads this month:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Your birthday as an adult mainly consists of texting back ‘Thanks!’ to people you haven’t talked to in 5 years.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

Going viral on Messenger:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Breaking via Pinterest:

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

Going viral on Facebook:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Going viral on Reddit:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

Live now on Telegram:

The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?

Spotted on Messenger:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Going bananas on Discord:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

Wonder if I should do something with my life, or kind of just continue to hang out.

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨