Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Let’s all be grateful for a moment that stupidity is not contagious.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

If you love me, please don’t ask me to go camping with you.

Going viral on TikTok:

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

Making waves on Twitch:

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

Spotted on Discord:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Shared recently on Facebook:

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

Spotted on Snapchat:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

Shared recently on Threads:

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Just landed via YouTube:

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the original queue routine! 🚶‍♀️➡️🚪💃 #DanceOfDesperation"

activity, dancing, humor, line, line dancing, restroom, social, social activity, waiting, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

0

2 months ago

behavior, etiquette, hairstyle, humor, make-up, makeup, polite, polite behavior, should, skills, social, social skills, tutorial, tutorials, YouTube
The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

0

2 months ago

action, commitment, confidence, exactly, going, hottest, hottest thing, integrity, man, said, thing
Social media is mental suicide.

0

2 months ago

exaggeration, health, humor, life, media, mental, mental health, mental state, modern, modern life, network, social, social media, social network, state, suicide, technology
Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

0

2 months ago

advanced, critique, humor, jump, jump scare, just, lion, MGM, movie, observation, plot, scare, single, think, time
I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, bicycle, bicycle horn, cacophony, clown, having, horn, humor, ID, imagination, imagine, just, sex, sound
69 but we both just farting.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, both, date, fart, humor, just, laughter, moment, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

93 shares on Telegram this month:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

71 shares on Slack this month:

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

Shared recently on Threads:

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

Trending via Messenger:

Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

Live now on Instagram:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

Live now on X:

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

Broadcasted on X:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

Freshly posted on X:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

Social media is mental suicide.

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

69 but we both just farting.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨