Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.