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Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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3,296

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Making waves on TikTok:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Spotted on X:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Trending via Instagram:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

Going viral on Facebook:

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

Just landed via Telegram:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed.

Live now on TikTok:

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

4 days ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous text about weekend fatigue, expressing playful frustration with Monday's arrival.

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Commentary:
"When did Monday get a fast pass? 😅⏩ #WeekendPleaseComeBack"

even, finished, humor, humor quote, i, leisure, Monday, procrastination, relatable, Saturday, weekday, weekend

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92 shares on YouTube this month:

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

14 shares on X this month:

I hope my email finds you enraged.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

100 shares on WeChat this month:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Life is like a game of chess. I don’t enjoy it very much.

67 shares on X this month:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

62 shares on Slack this month:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

17 shares on X this month:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24. I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

First World War. Kind of nervous.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

Just landed via Twitch:

Sometimes I sneeze so loud and hard I think I’m a dad.

Breaking via Twitch:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Making waves on Threads:

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

Trending via WeChat:

Apple’s secret growth engine: vibe coders paying the $99 Apple Developer Program fee.

Spotted on Reddit:

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

Making waves on Slack:

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

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Activity Log ✨

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

I buy candles like I’m preparing for a Victorian blackout.

I stopped adding “Let me know if you have any more questions!” to my emails because don’t email me again.

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

I buy candles like I’m preparing for a Victorian blackout.

I stopped adding “Let me know if you have any more questions!” to my emails because don’t email me again.

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨