Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Outside letting mosquitoes get some of this.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Lowkey terrifying when someone attractive is actually into you, omg.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I’m just a girl standing in front of a cat who followed me to the bathroom.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,496

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

Spotted on Discord:

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

Making waves on Messenger:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m perverted, but in an elegant and whimsical way.

Spotted on YouTube:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Breaking via Instagram:

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When did Monday get a fast pass? 😅⏩ #WeekendPleaseComeBack"

even, finished, humor, humor quote, i, leisure, Monday, procrastination, relatable, Saturday, weekday, weekend

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t be boring. Create the gossip you would like to hear.

0

1 week ago

advice, boring, create, creativity, fun, gossip, hear, humor, personality, social
Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

0

2 months ago

cat, expression, food, humor, ingredient, looking, me, pet, quit, relationship
Short men store so much anger in their little body.

0

2 months ago

anger, body, comedy, humor, little, men, much, short, short men, size, store
Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

0

5 months ago

advice, day, humor, management, mode, morning, panic, rush, start, start day, starting, stop, stress, time, time management
Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

0

2 months ago

appendix, comparison, humor, joke, me, medical, relationship, useless
I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, broke, clothes, crisis, fit, grown up, humor, i, identity, identity crisis, over-thinker, overthinker, pretty, remember, self-deprecation, stressed-out, sure, wanted

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Messenger this month:

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

71 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

12 shares on Threads this month:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

36 shares on Instagram this month:

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

98 shares on Slack this month:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I am the first person in my family to do what they want.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I stop myself at least twice a day from posting a status that would make everyone grab popcorn.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

Making waves on WeChat:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Making waves on Reddit:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Shared recently on Threads:

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

Making waves on Facebook:

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

Making waves on Slack:

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Making waves on X:

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

Making waves on Instagram:

Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

Live now on Threads:

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

Just landed via Threads:

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Don’t be boring. Create the gossip you would like to hear.

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨