Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Dissecting an alien and getting bitterly jealous at their crazy organs.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,372

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

Spotted on Facebook:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Trending via Snapchat:

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

Shared recently on X:

Bedtime procrastination isn’t a sleep issue. It’s a control issue. It’s about refusing to give up the last part of the day that feels like yours.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

Trending via Instagram:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Just shared via X:

A friend of mine decided to cut all the toxic people out of his life, or so I was informed.

Shared recently on Reddit:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Clapping or snacking? Either way, I'm a fan! 👏🍎😄

applause, confusion, humor, humorist, i, misunderstanding, read, satire, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

2 months ago

air, air conditioner, appreciation, award, conditioner, employee, give, humor, i, month, plaque, workplace
I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

2 months ago

adult, adulthood, choice, humor, i, just, life, life choice, me, not working, responsibility, thought, work, working
Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

2 months ago

days, dead, disappear, humor, i, Jesus, pretend, resurrection, sarcasm, think, trouble, whenever, wit
Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

2 months ago

AI, before, email, even, full, humor, irony, jobs, mistakes, scam, technology, trying
Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

2 months ago

color, confusion, fruit, humor, logic, orange, question, wordplay
I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

2 months ago

bed, blanket, comfort, humor, i, laziness, let, me, morning, need, sleep, struggle, weighted, weighted blanket

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Slack this month:

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

82 shares on X this month:

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

66 shares on Facebook this month:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

72 shares on WeChat this month:

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

69 shares on X this month:

If consuming too much caffeine causes short-term memory loss, just imagine what consuming too much caffeine can do.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

93 shares on X this month:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Spotted on Discord:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Spotted on Facebook:

I am the human version of tangled headphones.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

Seen just now on X:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Just landed via Discord:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨