More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

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Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

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The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

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My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

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Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

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That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

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I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

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But that was my emotional support daylight.

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Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

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Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

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There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.