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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,687

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Spotted on Instagram:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Shared recently on Discord:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

Just shared via TikTok:

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

Going bananas on YouTube:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.

Making waves on X:

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

3 days ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about aging and self-awareness with a playful, humorous tone.

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Commentary:
🤔💭 *Age: the only number that can surprise you on a regular basis!* 😜🎉

age, every, forgetfulness, humor, i, me, memory, news, remember, self-awareness, single, surprise, time

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Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Messenger this month:

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

26 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

81 shares on X this month:

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

46 shares on Discord this month:

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

Life sucks. One day you have tiramisu, and then most other days you don’t. I hate that.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just need you to change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Unfollowers, take me with you!

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

Live now on Messenger:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

Spotted on Discord:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

Making waves on Twitch:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

Trending via Reddit:

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

Freshly posted on Threads:

For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.

Just shared via Twitch:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

Just landed via Slack:

My dream car is a taco truck.

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Activity Log ✨

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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