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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡© has downloaded:

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡© has viewed:

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡¬ has copied:

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡· has bookmarked:

“The engine light is on!” Yeah, that means it’s working.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ώ has shared:

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

I’m cold! That’s not goose bumps anymore, that’s woodchip wallpaper.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ύ has copied:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³ has copied:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said β€œhello” like a goddam daredevil.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡² has copied:

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ώ has shared:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

1795 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,957

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,957

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Broadcasted on WeChat:

McDonald’s will β€œanything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

Breaking via Messenger:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

Trending via Discord:

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

Seen just now on X:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Just shared via Pinterest:

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

Trending via YouTube:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking.

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking.
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Commentary:
Brains and cardio? Zombies have it rough! πŸ§Ÿβ€β™‚οΈπŸ₯΄πŸšΆβ€β™‚️

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

1795 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,957

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,957

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡³ has viewed:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡­ has viewed:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, β€œDon’t text and drive.”

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ό has copied:

I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡» has viewed:

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst KΓ€se scenario.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ή has copied:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡² has shared:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡· has copied:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Seen just now on Messenger:

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

Making waves on YouTube:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

Going viral on X:

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

Going viral on Telegram:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

Making waves on Threads:

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Imagine being a bald vampire and every time you walk by a mirror your toupΓ©e is just floating.

Trending via Facebook:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

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