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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

For whom the doom scrolls!

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,865

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

Spotted on YouTube:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Just landed via Messenger:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

Seen just now on X:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Spotted on X:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Making waves on Twitch:

Very difficult being a full grown adult with a terrible fear of being “in trouble”.

My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like someone needs to cool off before things heat up! 🔥🧯 Maybe try a water drop emoji instead next time? 💦😄 #FlameRetaliation

boyfriend, comments, emoji, every, extinguisher, fire, fire extinguisher, flame, girl, humor, i, jealousy, keep, mad, me, pictures, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

0

5 months ago

7th, 7th grade, able, bedroom, being, class, crush, girl, grade, imagine, learning, math, math class, online, online class, school, virtual, virtual learning, Zoom
Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

0

2 months ago

adult, exhausting, exhaustion, functioning, humor, life, life struggle, pretending, struggle, well-adjusted
My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

0

4 months ago

boss, doing, dude, home, humor, just, office, people, pretending, remote, remote work, think, work, work from home, working, workplace, workplace humor
Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

0

2 months ago

choices, coping, decision, give, give up, heal, health, humor, i, insane, just, mental, mental health, should, struggle
When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

0

2 months ago

activity, fun, fun activity, hibernation, humor, i, participation, sleep, take, take part, winter, year
Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

0

2 months ago

activity, bar, date, funny activity, gently, humor, nightlife, picking, picking up, setting, women

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Messenger this month:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

20 shares on X this month:

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

31 shares on Threads this month:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

70 shares on Threads this month:

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I love it when God gives me money.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

Seen just now on Reddit:

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

Trending via YouTube:

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

Live now on TikTok:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

Trending via Facebook:

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

Trending via TikTok:

Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

Spotted on Reddit:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨