Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Is stir-fry the only dish where the instructions are in the name?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

What’s y’all’s favorite burner on your stove? Mine is front left. That’s my boy. That’s my big dawg.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m 27 and a half. I should be on my first divorce by now.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Good morning. I’m ready for attention now.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,354

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

Trending via Snapchat:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

Going viral on Discord:

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

Live now on Threads:

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

Just shared via Snapchat:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

Live now on Threads:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Looks like someone needs to cool off before things heat up! 🔥🧯 Maybe try a water drop emoji instead next time? 💦😄 #FlameRetaliation

boyfriend, comments, emoji, every, extinguisher, fire, fire extinguisher, flame, girl, humor, i, jealousy, keep, mad, me, pictures, relationship

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Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

56 shares on TikTok this month:

For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

50 shares on Telegram this month:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I have been so toxic and horny lately, I should probably start, like, reading a book or something.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

No open job postings for “Warrior Poet” found in your area. Please try another search.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

Freshly posted on X:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

Shared recently on Messenger:

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

Going viral on YouTube:

Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Just landed via Snapchat:

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

Spotted on Twitch:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Breaking via Discord:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Making waves on WeChat:

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

Just shared via Instagram:

Somehow I picked the worst possible decade to try to have a career.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨