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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2381 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,543

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,543

4 hours ago

3,456

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

Live now on Threads:

Apparently the thirstiest creature in the whole world is always a kid who’s been told to go back to his bed like a hundred times.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

Making waves on Slack:

The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

Just shared via Messenger:

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Trending via X:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Just landed via TikTok:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Breaking via Facebook:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

3 months ago

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

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Commentary:
Ah, the classic quest for hidden depths in a sea of nothingness! 😅 Sometimes, the best pastime is turning life's little emptinesses into grand mysteries. Who knew(just a little), that finding meaning in nothing could be your favorite hobby? 🕵️‍♂️🔍 Everything's more interesting when you're searching for gold in a sandbox—except, of course, when you realize there’s just more sand. 🏖️😉

existential, favorite, humor, humor quote, irony, looking, meaning, none, pastime, philosophical, sarcasm, where

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2381 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,543

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,543

4 hours ago

3,462

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

By now, we’ve all figured out that these LED bulbs don’t actually last 15 years, but we’ve collectively decided to just let it slide.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I miss when bills were none of my business.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

Making waves on Instagram:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

Just landed via Discord:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

Reported on Telegram:

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

Shared recently on Messenger:

And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

Just landed via TikTok:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

Live now on Instagram:

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

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