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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

“I didn’t vote for this.” — people who absolutely voted for this but thought this would only hurt people they hate.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,498

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Delightful if true: booby trap.

Just landed via Discord:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Going viral on Slack:

It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Seen just now on Threads:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

Making waves on TikTok:

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

Spotted on Threads:

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Spotted on TikTok:

Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

Going viral on Slack:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

9 hours ago

Witty text about searching for meaning where it doesn't exist, humorous and playful.

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Commentary:
Ah, the classic quest for hidden depths in a sea of nothingness! 😅 Sometimes, the best pastime is turning life's little emptinesses into grand mysteries. Who knew(just a little), that finding meaning in nothing could be your favorite hobby? 🕵️‍♂️🔍 Everything's more interesting when you're searching for gold in a sandbox—except, of course, when you realize there’s just more sand. 🏖️😉

existential, favorite, humor, humor quote, irony, looking, meaning, none, pastime, philosophical, sarcasm, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Threads this month:

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

65 shares on Slack this month:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

Lounging under the stars is top-tier therapy.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

99 shares on X this month:

Nostalgia is mostly dumb nonsense, but movie rental stores were legitimately better than streaming.

83 shares on Facebook this month:

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

I used an air fryer for the first time tonight, and I feel like I just discovered fire.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait for the “international law” crowd to discover that “human rights” aren’t real, either.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“It’s not that deep!” Well, I have a shovel and I enjoy digging for meaning.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Hot person: wow, everyone here is so nice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,608

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Adulting’s a total scam. Bills, taxes, and a laundry pile that breeds in the dark, were not in the brochure!

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Spotted on Threads:

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

Seen just now on TikTok:

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

Spotted on Slack:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

Live now on Telegram:

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

Live now on Facebook:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

Seen just now on Slack:

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

Going bananas on Threads:

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

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