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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

I don’t get enough credit for acting far less crazy than I actually am.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

The science between bragging about a man and him disappointing you immediately after needs to be studied.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Anytime someone throws a Great Gatsby themed party, I have to assume they never finished the book.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

Spotted on YouTube:

My nickname in high school was “who?”

Going viral on Messenger:

Homeless man just called me a “loser,” and I showed him my house keys.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

Just shared via WeChat:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m pretty sure emojis were invented so introverts don’t have to say anything to anyone.

Making waves on Twitch:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

Going viral on Threads:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

Going viral on Twitch:

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

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No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.
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Commentary:
Lost in my own mystery tour! 🕵️‍♂️🤔✨

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on X this month:

My brain has too many tabs open.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

18 shares on Slack this month:

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

42 shares on WeChat this month:

Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

58 shares on X this month:

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

People be like “bear with me” and they don’t even have a bear with them.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,613

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Going viral on Instagram:

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Going viral on Threads:

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

Just shared via TikTok:

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

Going viral on Facebook:

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My superpower is giving you the middle finger using my eyes only.

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