Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

The sexual tension between me and not finishing the last 2 episodes of a drama.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,294

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Telegram:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Making waves on Slack:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Making waves on Snapchat:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

Breaking via X:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Shared recently on Threads:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

Just landed via Pinterest:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

Just shared via Discord:

Being single is so crazy. What do you mean there’s No One?

Just shared via X:

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

Normalize mouthing the lyrics to the song in your headphones in public.

0
Normalize mouthing the lyrics to the song in your headphones in public.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Because maybe my off-key mime is the next viral dance move! 🎧🎤🕺😂"

, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Reddit this month:

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

August is technically summer, but spiritually fall.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

43 shares on TikTok this month:

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

92 shares on Discord this month:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,632

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

Trending via X:

Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

Trending via Instagram:

Can we skip to the rich part?

Just landed via YouTube:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Just shared via Discord:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

Just landed via YouTube:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴