Commentary:
Sounds like my superpower is "Procrastination Man" swooping in right before the clock runs out! ⏰🦸♂️📚
I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.
Commentary:
When sharing is caring, but cake is the ultimate relationship test 🍰😜
I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.
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And here I was hoping to fast-forward through Mondays! 📺🪐 #UniversalDisappointment
Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.
Commentary:
Ice cream for dinner? Sign me up! Who needs adulting when you can have sprinkles for supper! 🍦😋🎉
Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.
Commentary:
Well, that’s one way to test the aerodynamics! 🚗💨👽✨
If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.
Commentary:
Looks like Salt-N-Pepa is my sign to quietly exit the party before I start busting moves nobody asked for! 🚪💃🥴
People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.
Commentary:
Social distancing: the secret ingredient to people-watching without all that pesky human interaction! 🤔😂🚪🔒
Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.
Commentary:
That moment when your fabulous friend suddenly wants a long-term lease on your personal real estate! 🤔😂🏡
Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.
Commentary:
Sounds like I just got a surprise vacation that my wallet wasn't ready for! 💸✈️😂
“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.
Commentary:
I finally found a song that matches my talent for turning spilled coffee into an opera 🎶☕️🎭