Commentary:
Who knew the Discovery Channel would go from Shark Week to Glazed Goodness Week? 🍩😂
That stupid look on my face is my face.
Commentary:
When your face has a permanent contract with confusion 😂🤔🙃
Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.
Commentary:
When you can't find your keys and consider hiring a magician instead of searching again. 🧙♂️🔮🔑
The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.
Commentary:
An audacity of reply guys: where every comment is a standing ovation to their own opinion 😂🙌
My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.
Commentary:
When you realize you're just the butler in your own home 😂🐶🍽️
Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.
Commentary:
Manifesting breakfast is my new cardio routine 🍳✨ #DreamBigEatBigger
My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.
Commentary:
Sounds like her alarm clock is more of a "brace yourself" signal for everyone else! 😅🔔📢
Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.
Commentary:
Can't blame the Wi-Fi for my brain's 24/7 chatroom! 🤯🗯️😂
People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.
Commentary:
Sounds like they’ve got nothing to hide… except maybe streak marks on the windows! 😆🔍🏠
I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.
Commentary:
Trying to figure out planet Earth like it's a level 100 escape room! 🌍🧐🚀