Commentary:
When your spa day turns into a sports injury treatment! 🏃♂️💆♀️🤣
How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?
Commentary:
Me trying to get out of bed is like a sloth attempting a sprint 🛌🏃♂️💤
I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.
Commentary:
Sounds like prime pajama time! 😴🛌🕘
Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.
Commentary:
Turning water into wine is one thing, but can we turn sermons into brunch? 🍷🥞😇
Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.
Commentary:
Ah, the classic bedtime routine: close eyes, open apps! 😴📱📚
Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?
Commentary:
Crow women: masters of shiny object collection and perfecting the art of dramatic caw-versation! 🪶😂
This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.
Commentary:
Looks like he's auditioning for a role in the next Fast & Furious movie! 🚓🎬😂
The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.
Commentary:
When the toilet is more comfortable than the bed, you know you’ve picked the right Airbnb! 🛏️🚽😴
I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.
Commentary:
Sounds like you've unlocked the ninja skill of sleep-standing! ☕️😴🧘♂️
It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.
Commentary:
Life is a road trip I measure by empty snack wrappers! 🍫🚗🎉